Freitag, 25. Februar 2011
On roots and wings
I recently finished reading the amazing and highly recommendable "Just Kids" by Patti Smith. It is not a novel and not an autobiographie, but it's a tale of love, friendship, art and the long and rocky road to finding a place for yourself in the world. (I know this might sound cheesy now, but you should really pick it up, it is so beautifully written and full of wisdom)
Among many other quote- and memorable sentences, this one in particular struck me:
"You can't have both, roots and wings."
This of course is written in the context of an artist's biography and on the journey, said artist travelled.
But for me, this instantly struck me as a mantra for my life and the lives of so many other people I know who come from a bi- or multi-cultural background.
I grew up in a way, many people with parents from different parts of the world did (in my case, this would be Germany and Saudi Arabia) - I was born some place now no longer significant for my family or my day-to-day life, then spent a few years of my childhood in a country very different from where I was born, learned the language, my way with the extensive family there and made some friends for life. Then there was more moving, again to a foreign land, mother's homeland this time, again there was a new language to learn and new friends to be made. By that time, I was ten years old. I had to fit into a new school, a new social system and deal with the loss of my old world(s).
Ever since these very first years, I find myself constantly struggling. Where do I belong? Why don't I belong? Why is everything always so very much out of place? Or is it me, who is out of place? I had always battled - and still battle - this strange longing to be close to my family, to settle, either here or there, the warmth of an arabic familiar embrace, the comfort in staying - and on the other hand the urgent desire to run, run fast and far away, embrace the world, see, experience and reach as much as I possibly can and leave behind what I at times consider too closed-up, too narrow.
From first thinking it would be a teenage phase, soon over inshallah, to true despair and depression over this in my early twenties, I now, at almost 33, begin to understand that trying to combine these two forces, might not end very happily or successfully. Eventually, and this is where Patti Smith comes in again, you will have to decide - roots or wings.
In my case, I'm guessing it will be more the wings. My friends have been joking for a long time that I have gipsy blood and therefor have to keep moving, no matter what. Personally, I prefer, what a friend, who's still very dear to me, once said - that he and I were the proverbial Rebels without a clue.
As hard as these journeys might be - in Patti Smith's case, it ended quite happily and with an amazing career - eventually it pays off to decide. At least that is what it feels like at the moment.
So wings it is ...
Among many other quote- and memorable sentences, this one in particular struck me:
"You can't have both, roots and wings."
This of course is written in the context of an artist's biography and on the journey, said artist travelled.
But for me, this instantly struck me as a mantra for my life and the lives of so many other people I know who come from a bi- or multi-cultural background.
I grew up in a way, many people with parents from different parts of the world did (in my case, this would be Germany and Saudi Arabia) - I was born some place now no longer significant for my family or my day-to-day life, then spent a few years of my childhood in a country very different from where I was born, learned the language, my way with the extensive family there and made some friends for life. Then there was more moving, again to a foreign land, mother's homeland this time, again there was a new language to learn and new friends to be made. By that time, I was ten years old. I had to fit into a new school, a new social system and deal with the loss of my old world(s).
Ever since these very first years, I find myself constantly struggling. Where do I belong? Why don't I belong? Why is everything always so very much out of place? Or is it me, who is out of place? I had always battled - and still battle - this strange longing to be close to my family, to settle, either here or there, the warmth of an arabic familiar embrace, the comfort in staying - and on the other hand the urgent desire to run, run fast and far away, embrace the world, see, experience and reach as much as I possibly can and leave behind what I at times consider too closed-up, too narrow.
From first thinking it would be a teenage phase, soon over inshallah, to true despair and depression over this in my early twenties, I now, at almost 33, begin to understand that trying to combine these two forces, might not end very happily or successfully. Eventually, and this is where Patti Smith comes in again, you will have to decide - roots or wings.
In my case, I'm guessing it will be more the wings. My friends have been joking for a long time that I have gipsy blood and therefor have to keep moving, no matter what. Personally, I prefer, what a friend, who's still very dear to me, once said - that he and I were the proverbial Rebels without a clue.
As hard as these journeys might be - in Patti Smith's case, it ended quite happily and with an amazing career - eventually it pays off to decide. At least that is what it feels like at the moment.
So wings it is ...
What it's all about
For a few weeks now I have been writing my german blog Die West-Östliche Diva, where at first I attempted to write about this and that, mainly about day-to-day racism in both media and real life in Germany, about things that interest me such as books, films, public matters all dealing with multi-culturism (although I hate that term ...) and life as a third-culture-kid in general. Then came what started as the Jasmin Revolution. The brave people of Tunisia ousted their dictator. Only a few weeks later, Egypt followed, and we all know, how that ended. Ever since then, I have mostly been writing about this arab revolution, it's effect and portrayal in the german media and what my personal take is on these matters. Being an Arab myself and having a very, very strong bond with Egypt and Cairo in particular, it only felt natural for me to write about these things.
I got some very nice response to the blog, but a few non-german friends who can't or only just about read german, kept encouraging me to also write my posts in english. So here you are - it's not my fault, and please excuse my faulty spelling and grammar ...
After I gave it a thought or two, I now believe it's not a bad idea at all to start this english version of Die West-Östliche Diva. I won't be translating all my german posts and put them here, but some of them, and I intend to also write posts only for this space. I'm not a political correspondent, or ambassador of any kind, but I feel the world is ready for this very unique saudi-arab-german-multi-culture perspective on life and the world :) also, sometimes I feel I can think more clearly in english. Something to do with the fact that my now-spoken language - German - is only the third language I learned as a kid ... it was arabic and english long before that. But that's another story.
So here goes - enjoy this journey with me, I have no idea where it's going to lead us all! But let's hope it's going to be fun!!
I got some very nice response to the blog, but a few non-german friends who can't or only just about read german, kept encouraging me to also write my posts in english. So here you are - it's not my fault, and please excuse my faulty spelling and grammar ...
After I gave it a thought or two, I now believe it's not a bad idea at all to start this english version of Die West-Östliche Diva. I won't be translating all my german posts and put them here, but some of them, and I intend to also write posts only for this space. I'm not a political correspondent, or ambassador of any kind, but I feel the world is ready for this very unique saudi-arab-german-multi-culture perspective on life and the world :) also, sometimes I feel I can think more clearly in english. Something to do with the fact that my now-spoken language - German - is only the third language I learned as a kid ... it was arabic and english long before that. But that's another story.
So here goes - enjoy this journey with me, I have no idea where it's going to lead us all! But let's hope it's going to be fun!!
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